Blow by Blow

Soft and Wet has to be one of the best Prince songs ever. Yes, ever. Vintage and classic like an old Chevy. Sexy and fast like a little red corvette. Okay, wow. That was even cheesy for me.

This is the Prince who told me how much he likes getting head. This is the Prince who made me fantasize I was his Darling Nikki. It’s the classic Prince before he went all crazy and turned his name into some goddamn inexplicable symbol. Whatever, dude. Just keep making my panties wet and you’re all good in my book.

“I personally don’t see how a petite man who sings like a woman, wears high heels and looks like he weighs a buck twenty-five soaking wet with bricks is attractive.” Ran-asshole spills.

Oh no, he didn’t! I know this big-dicked motherfucker isn’t talking shit on my main man. Of course, I have to retaliate in the only Maria way I know how. “That’s a bold statement coming from someone who pays for it.”

Randy takes a swig of his beer and concedes with my smart-ass statement. “After looking at this place on and off for the past two years, I did pay for it.”

Ooh. Match point. That was a good one.

Sushi was pretty uneventful. After Randy and I conversed (noticed I said ‘converse’, not ‘conversate,’ people. Conversate is not a word) we head back to my place. To discuss. Yeah, discuss. Uh-huh. I’m going to keep saying that.

So why the topic on my favorite non-sexual subject? I’m currently schooling Ran-asshole on the brilliance of Prince. We’re in my living room and he just doesn’t understand all the hype. What the hell? Johnny understood the hype and didn’t ask questions. All he knew was to put some Prince on and it was a guarantee dick-sucking that night. Come to think of it, Johnny did play Prince a lot.

“So this Soft and Wet song?” It’s clear Randy doesn’t like Prince. His beady little eyes are all squinted like he’s seeing something in the distance but can’t quite make out exactly what it is. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had that look on his face, that’s for damn sure. “He’s saying the chick is soft and wet?”

Ding, ding, ding. Houston, we have a genius. “Yes, but he’s explaining how wonderful and supple she is. How sensual she is.”

Randy shrugs. “Why couldn’t he just say that instead of singing in a goddamn falsetto?”

“See, this is why you pay for it, asshole,” I point to him.

Randy chuckles and shrugs a little. “Maybe. But I never had to say some fucking metaphors and similes to get some ass.”

I’m having a hard time swallowing that piece of shit he just fed me. “Never?”

Randy smirks for a minute. “Yeah, I didn’t think you would buy that shit?”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” I grin back. It’s kinda fun bantering with him, I’ll admit. Some of our best times occurred when we weren’t fucking.

“So…maybe once or twice?”

“Really? And what was this genius moment?”

“Oh, whenever I see a pretty girl.” Randy smiled. “You know, every guy does has the same lines.”

“Oh, let me guess,” I smile, “ ‘You’re so smart, baby,’ ‘you’re so beautiful, honey…’”

“I love you, baby,” he adds.

“Oh yeah! That’s another one!” I point to him. Sad to admit, I’ve been a victim of that bullshit lie. But then again, I’ve used that bullshit lie my damn self. “I forgot about that one!”

“No, Maria,” he gets up and walks over to me. He grabs me by my waist and quickly plants a searing kiss on my lips. He smells musky, almost intoxicating. His breath is a combination of mint and sake. But it’s his impending erection that captures my attention. He’s pressed tight against my body and there’s no doubt what’s on his mind. Now what’s in his heart is a different matter.

Randy takes his time, sucking my bottom lip and then my upper. He places soft kisses around my mouth and traces my jaw line with his tongue. He then moves down to my neck and gently nibbles on it before he moves back up to my lips. Fuck, I totally forgot how much I missed this man on me.

Randy pulls away for just a split second and looks intently in my eyes. This is the most intense I’ve seen him. You know how you put your arms on someone to get their attention because you’re about to tell them something important? That’s what Randy’s doing to me now but it’s still not registering with me. “I love you, Maria.”

I can’t handle this shit right now. I couldn’t handle it when he told me last year; I damn sure can’t handle it 12 months later. I shake my head. “Randy, I…”

He places a finger on my lips. “Shh…let’s just enjoy this moment, okay?” He asks.

“Okay,” I mouth back. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want this moment to happen but it still got me off-guard. My mind is saying it’s a bad, bad idea but to hell with my mind right about now. It’s not about to get fucked.

Little Maria down there is.

-------------------

12 months can do a lot to someone’s lovemaking skills. It can either enhance it or make it worse. While I do agree sex is just like a bicycle—once you learn how to ride it, you don’t forget—I do think all you need is one bumpy road and you’ll quickly fall off that motherfucker and break your ass.

But with Randy here…he never missed a toe-curling step. He wants to make love to me, not just fuck me like he has in the past. He undresses me then he picks me up and carries me to the bed.

“Stay there,” he instructs before he leaves.

I don’t know what he has in mind. I’m curious but I’m anxious. I’m dying for this moment but I can’t wait for it to finally happen. My thoughts are broken when I hear his footsteps up the stairs and a motion for me to open my thighs. I look down and see Randy has a bottle of honey and is dripping it on my clit. I don’t want to get excited but I’m wondering what the hell he’s doing.

“You know you don’t have to…” I begin.

“Shh…” Randy puts another finger to his lips. “Just enjoy.”

Now ladies, if you ever received good head, there’s this feeling in the duration that just can’t be explained. It’s the toe-curling, pillow-biting, grabbing-onto-something-that’s-nailed-down type of feeling. It’s like going to church and catching the Holy Ghost. It’s like floating on cloud nine and you didn’t smoke any drugs.

It’s fucking awesome.

He’s doing these flicking motions with his tongue, hitting my spot each and every fucking time. He rolls my pearl around his tongue like it’s on a chase and he’s trying to catch it. But then he does something I only experienced with Johnny. Randy sticks a finger in my ass and another in my pussy. As he licks me, he finger fucks both of my holes at the same time. My body surrenders to the incredible feeling. I immediately explode into several orgasms over and over again. Finally, I brush Randy’s head away from my pussy because I’m just way too sensitive for any more.

He then gets up and undoes his slacks. He pulls me by my ankles and looks down at me. “You ready, baby?”

I nod silently in hot anticipation. I just want to get fucked already.

Randy then teases my opening with his dick. He wants me to relish it. He wants me to crave it. He wants me to beg for it. “Just give it to me,” I ask.

Almost immediately, he glides his throbbing dick inside me. The incredible friction is both unbearable for us and we take a moment to relish the pleasure. Randy then begins to make love to me, holding my legs in the air as he watches the action. He moves my legs in different positions, increasing the pleasure.

Soon, he begins to move faster. I feel his balls slap against my ass as he taunts me to take more of what he’s offering. He reaches down and fingers my clit as he continues to glide in and out of me, wanting me to come again and again.

I yell in a sharp cry and feel my body exploding into mini-convulsions as Randy still makes love to me. He picks up the pace and lets out a few grunts. He then pulls out and shoots all over my clit before he collapses on top of me. Throughout the night, we make love some more before finally falling asleep in my bed.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with Randy and me in the future and right about now, I’m not even thinking that far ahead. But right now, I just want to savor this moment.

I’ll deal with Sam’s bitch ass later.