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And I shouldn't be. I have a very busy day ahead of me tomorrow and I'm playing around on the internet like it's nothing.
I wonder how lazy people do this all the time. Geez louise...
Over the last few days, I've been incognito. I've had my reasons that are still personal but I will reveal them at a later date. Nothing bad. Still engaged and intoxicatingly happy. But when other things happen in your life, you need to stop and evaluate what's important and what you can do without.
Simply put, I grew up.
Within the very near future, I'm going to become a wife. Shortly after that, I'll be someone's mommy. Knowing that, I had to take a good look at some of things I've done past and present. Now I don't regret anything I've done in my past because I feel everything happens for a reason. But there are a few things I care not to repeat.
When someone tests you, it's how you react that makes the difference. You can blow up and cause a scene or you can walk away. Very quickly, you need to wonder if the short-term gratification is worth the long-term effects. Most of the time, it's not. Recently, I had to walk away from a situation with someone who was "gunning" for me since Day One, unknown to me. It's not something I'm proud of and I'm definitely not gloating.
But it did make me take a nice and long look at my maturity. The old me would've told the person off and probably would've said some pretty evil things. But Ms. Thang in 2009 doesn't have time for that. I don't want someone's bad karma affect what I'm trying to do and accomplish. Those who slander and trespass against me ended up getting theirs in one way or another later.
The point of this blog is sometimes, you just need to walk away no matter how hard it is. The drama just isn't worth it. Drama is meant to watch on TV, not participate in real life.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I Need a Life
Well, I have a life. A good one, at that. But I need to get up and get out more. Explore. Taste. Touch. Feel. Smell. Lick, if the mood suits me.
It's been about a minute since I've updated. Well, I've been going through some personal stuff I rather not divulge at this time. Nothing too serious but it's not something I'm taking lightly either. The good news is that I'm no longer freaking out. The bad news is well...maybe I should be.
So I needed to take a hiatus from everything to regroup. I had to figure out what was really important to me and what I could do without. So far, it' working. So far. I have wonderful family, friends, and a fantabulous fiancee who is just my rock and strength. Baby, I love you.
But for now I'm contemplating my life, looking at Russian wedding traditions (a wedding lasts two days!! Holy crapola, Batman!) and being soothed by the delicious sounds of Seal. Kiss from a Rose is one of the best songs ever.
With God in my corner, I can't fail.
It's been about a minute since I've updated. Well, I've been going through some personal stuff I rather not divulge at this time. Nothing too serious but it's not something I'm taking lightly either. The good news is that I'm no longer freaking out. The bad news is well...maybe I should be.
So I needed to take a hiatus from everything to regroup. I had to figure out what was really important to me and what I could do without. So far, it' working. So far. I have wonderful family, friends, and a fantabulous fiancee who is just my rock and strength. Baby, I love you.
But for now I'm contemplating my life, looking at Russian wedding traditions (a wedding lasts two days!! Holy crapola, Batman!) and being soothed by the delicious sounds of Seal. Kiss from a Rose is one of the best songs ever.
With God in my corner, I can't fail.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Everyone Has a Price---Sneak Peek
Her baby was coming home.
When Aiden was born, Victoria knew there was something special about him. She couldn’t quite figure it out, though. All of her children were intelligent, yes. All of her children had the one thing that made them different from each other, no doubt about that. But there was something unique about Aiden that made him stand out from Leilani and Zavier.
Leilani was the Cathedral Springs princess and was proud of the fact. Zavier was being groomed to take over Batista-Levesque Estates and the next Stamina King. Christopher…well, Christopher hadn’t quite figured out what he was going to do with his life.
But Aiden? He knew from a young age what he wanted to be. A fashion designer. He knew what styles worked best on everyone and went as far as coordinating his mother’s outfits for several functions. Aiden had a natural eye for design and would often put together couture looks for everyone in his family.
It was only a matter of time before rumors of his sexuality began to follow Aiden. He never denied the fact he was gay but he never quite admitted it either. To Aiden, it was a non-issue. His sexuality had no bearing on his designs. Either one liked his designs or they didn’t. The fact he sucked cock had nothing to do with it.
When Victoria realized the genius her son was becoming, she knew Cathedral Springs was too small for Aiden. He needed bigger—much bigger. Paris was the only natural choice. However, getting Aiden there wasn’t a piece of cake. While Dave was very wealthy, he also counted his pennies. He couldn’t understand why Aiden couldn’t go to New York and enroll in a fashion school there. But Victoria insisted, boasting of their son’s magnificent talent and how he could benefit by going overseas. She spoke to Dave every day until he finally relented and forked over the $200K bill for their son.
Plus, a few blow jobs didn’t hurt Victoria’s cause. Talking could only do so much before she had to get out the kneepads.
When Aiden was born, Victoria knew there was something special about him. She couldn’t quite figure it out, though. All of her children were intelligent, yes. All of her children had the one thing that made them different from each other, no doubt about that. But there was something unique about Aiden that made him stand out from Leilani and Zavier.
Leilani was the Cathedral Springs princess and was proud of the fact. Zavier was being groomed to take over Batista-Levesque Estates and the next Stamina King. Christopher…well, Christopher hadn’t quite figured out what he was going to do with his life.
But Aiden? He knew from a young age what he wanted to be. A fashion designer. He knew what styles worked best on everyone and went as far as coordinating his mother’s outfits for several functions. Aiden had a natural eye for design and would often put together couture looks for everyone in his family.
It was only a matter of time before rumors of his sexuality began to follow Aiden. He never denied the fact he was gay but he never quite admitted it either. To Aiden, it was a non-issue. His sexuality had no bearing on his designs. Either one liked his designs or they didn’t. The fact he sucked cock had nothing to do with it.
When Victoria realized the genius her son was becoming, she knew Cathedral Springs was too small for Aiden. He needed bigger—much bigger. Paris was the only natural choice. However, getting Aiden there wasn’t a piece of cake. While Dave was very wealthy, he also counted his pennies. He couldn’t understand why Aiden couldn’t go to New York and enroll in a fashion school there. But Victoria insisted, boasting of their son’s magnificent talent and how he could benefit by going overseas. She spoke to Dave every day until he finally relented and forked over the $200K bill for their son.
Plus, a few blow jobs didn’t hurt Victoria’s cause. Talking could only do so much before she had to get out the kneepads.
What Inspires Me...well, a whole lot.
Last night, I was chatting with a friend online over storylines and ideas. I was helping her with a chapter she was going to write and gave her tips on where to go and how to proceed. There were many angles and levels she could've gone with her writing. Then she asked, 'How did you come up with that?'
I told her I was blessed with an overactive mind...I'm always thinking, I'm always preparing, I'm always wondering. Sometimes it's a great thing. Sometimes it keeps me up at night. Sometimes I'll come up with a favorable solution; sometimes, I just have to pray about it.
But that's beside the point. What inspires me is anything and everything. Love, music, wrestling, sex, nature, fights, anger, roommates, etc. Everything inspires me in different ways. I'm notoriously known for making a good situation out of a horrible one. Sometimes life sucks and it sucks hard...but it's what you do with that knowledge that makes the difference.
Some people wallow and play the "Poor & Pity Me" act so well, it's hard to feel sorry for them. Some people take what happened as a lesson learned and thrive.
I'm thriving. You should too.
I told her I was blessed with an overactive mind...I'm always thinking, I'm always preparing, I'm always wondering. Sometimes it's a great thing. Sometimes it keeps me up at night. Sometimes I'll come up with a favorable solution; sometimes, I just have to pray about it.
But that's beside the point. What inspires me is anything and everything. Love, music, wrestling, sex, nature, fights, anger, roommates, etc. Everything inspires me in different ways. I'm notoriously known for making a good situation out of a horrible one. Sometimes life sucks and it sucks hard...but it's what you do with that knowledge that makes the difference.
Some people wallow and play the "Poor & Pity Me" act so well, it's hard to feel sorry for them. Some people take what happened as a lesson learned and thrive.
I'm thriving. You should too.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
To Forgive or Not to Forgive
That is the question...
During the Super Bowl festivities here in the U.S., I helped set out the plates and snacks for everyone in the house. I even set out an extra plate for a roommate I'm not too fond of and told the landlord I did in passing. As we were getting the table set up, I said, "I learned I don't have to like the people I live with, I just have to learn how to live with them." She, in turn, made a comment of, "You're not a forgiving person, are you?" to which I replied, "Not really." She then replied with, "That's too bad," and I shrugged off her comment.
Then I started thinking...is it necessary to forgive each and every act? Are there some things that can't be forgiven?
Now, without going into full detail, my roommate...I'll call him White Gold since he looks exactly like him...has disrespected both me and my fiancee, and also my landlord. Now my landlord is quick to forgive because all she sees are dollar signs. But as someone who has to live and share space with WG, I'm not so quick.
Forgiveness works differently on everyone. For some, it takes a matter of seconds. For others, it can take years. For me? It really depends. Some things just aren't forgivable, no matter the person and circumstance. Other things, it's not even an issue. However, the moment blatant disrespect comes into play, all bets are off. And I'm one of those people who feel once I've been disrespected, that's it, buddy. You're officially dead to me.
Does it make me a bad person if I don't forgive each and every thing? No. It just means I don't have a tolerance of being treated like crap whenever the mood is suited to another person. I believe everyone is allowed one fuck-up. The one moment where you can blame alcohol, stupidity, whatever for what you did. But anything past that....partner, that's all you and nothing but.
There's a difference between letting something slide by and being a doormat. Unfortunately, my landlord doesn't know the difference and I doubt at her age she ever will. Judging by what she let the past tenants get away with, it's clear she's only looking through cracked rose-colored glasses. How is her MO of being passive-aggressive any different than me coming out and saying it? At least I'm being honest and putting it out on front street. With her? Not so much.
In short, forgiveness is not something that's easily attained and people often go to therapy to work on their forgiveness issues. Just because you're quick to do it, doesn't mean everyone else should follow suit. It takes time. And when I'm ready to forgive WG, I'll know it and in turn, let him know it.
But for now, it's best we don't cross paths.
During the Super Bowl festivities here in the U.S., I helped set out the plates and snacks for everyone in the house. I even set out an extra plate for a roommate I'm not too fond of and told the landlord I did in passing. As we were getting the table set up, I said, "I learned I don't have to like the people I live with, I just have to learn how to live with them." She, in turn, made a comment of, "You're not a forgiving person, are you?" to which I replied, "Not really." She then replied with, "That's too bad," and I shrugged off her comment.
Then I started thinking...is it necessary to forgive each and every act? Are there some things that can't be forgiven?
Now, without going into full detail, my roommate...I'll call him White Gold since he looks exactly like him...has disrespected both me and my fiancee, and also my landlord. Now my landlord is quick to forgive because all she sees are dollar signs. But as someone who has to live and share space with WG, I'm not so quick.
Forgiveness works differently on everyone. For some, it takes a matter of seconds. For others, it can take years. For me? It really depends. Some things just aren't forgivable, no matter the person and circumstance. Other things, it's not even an issue. However, the moment blatant disrespect comes into play, all bets are off. And I'm one of those people who feel once I've been disrespected, that's it, buddy. You're officially dead to me.
Does it make me a bad person if I don't forgive each and every thing? No. It just means I don't have a tolerance of being treated like crap whenever the mood is suited to another person. I believe everyone is allowed one fuck-up. The one moment where you can blame alcohol, stupidity, whatever for what you did. But anything past that....partner, that's all you and nothing but.
There's a difference between letting something slide by and being a doormat. Unfortunately, my landlord doesn't know the difference and I doubt at her age she ever will. Judging by what she let the past tenants get away with, it's clear she's only looking through cracked rose-colored glasses. How is her MO of being passive-aggressive any different than me coming out and saying it? At least I'm being honest and putting it out on front street. With her? Not so much.
In short, forgiveness is not something that's easily attained and people often go to therapy to work on their forgiveness issues. Just because you're quick to do it, doesn't mean everyone else should follow suit. It takes time. And when I'm ready to forgive WG, I'll know it and in turn, let him know it.
But for now, it's best we don't cross paths.
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