Girls to Women

It's a play on the song title, Boys 2 Men made famous by New Edition and inspired that certain R&B group out of Philly to adopt it as its moniker. But I'm not talking music...I'm speaking on real-life.

A situation presented itself a short while regarding my friend, Becky. Now Becky and I have known each other all of our lives. We're practically sisters (or were...get to that in a minute) and I have shared many intimate details of my life with her. Not just dick game stories, but just everything.

Over the years, Becky and I have grown up but still remained close. We both went through some pretty traumatic dealings and often leaned on each other. Becky took advantage of my kindness at times, but that's what sisters do.

At least that's what I thought.

Recently, with much stress happening in my life, I did the inevitable. I snapped at Becky and behaved pretty childlish and bullshit-like. After calming down and realizing how stupid I was, I apologized profusely to Becky and even wrote her a thesis-long e-mail explaining me snapping at her wasn't because of her but rather I just had a bad week and she was unfortunately, the brunt of it.

Well, my apologies to Becky fell on deaf ears. Mind you, I didn't call her out of her name or curse at her. Nor did I say anything below the belt. And, this is the first time I have EVER snapped on her and we've known each other since kindergarden. Come to find out a couple days later, Becky is hell-bent on holding a grudge aganist me and will tell anyone who cares about what I did that hurt her.

What blows my mind is Becky is so quick to forgive an asshole ex-boyfriend who cheated on her twice with the same woman...but her girl? Nah.

And then one wonders...didn't I graduate from high school? About 12 years ago? I swore I did.
Becky's refusal to talk to me (and badmouth me) made me ask myself: Are some friends really worth keeping? You can know someone for years but do you really know who they are?

Let's keep it real: If you can't accept your friend's apologies and you've known each other practically since birth, maybe the friendship wasn't that tight. Maybe it's best to go separate ways.

But at what point does the bullshit high school games end and adulthood begin?

Surprisingly, I'm not mad or angry at Becky. It's her choice not to talk to me no matter how silly it is. I look at it from this point of view: I've moved on. Once I said my apologies, it's cleared from my mind. If you can't forgive, the burden officially lands on you, not the other person. Don't say you have a belief in God and you practice a certain religion, but you don't know how to forgive people. That makes not one lick of sense.

As far as Becky is concerned, I wish her well. I hope she is successful in whatever she does regardless if she wants me to be a part of her life. But honestly, I'm not sure if I'm willing to make her a part of mine. Did I miss her? Like crazy at first. Do I now? Not really. I think she did me a huge favor and I just realized it.

Sometimes you grow up...and grow apart.